Finding calm amidst the chaos
“I didn’t feel safe.”
That’s the thought that popped into my head 55 minutes into an hour-long yoga class on my bedroom floor.
Laying there in savasana, listening to the Peloton instructor prepare us for rest, I felt the relief that comes from feeling relaxed, from exhaling. From letting my guard down.
Which made me realize just how far my guard had been up.
Last week was a flurry of activity as I traveled to Seattle to facilitate a 60-person workshop. With all the stress of work travel and a week of sleeping in a different bed – even with some fun mixed in – I came home feeling drained and stretched thin.
Once home, my stress level only increased. A couple of my family members are going through a rough time, and I was catapulted back into a state of worry.
“How do I help them? What should I do next? Where is the next fire that needs putting out?”
And then there’s what’s happening in the news. As if the potential loss of healthcare for 17,000,000 million people isn’t worrying enough, the threat of World War 3 is enough to keep any of us up at night.
Which meant my exhale in yoga was even more notable. Even more restorative.
What does safety feel like in your body?
It’s an odd question, perhaps. Most of us are fortunate to not literally find ourselves in unsafe situations most of the time. Which means that whether we feel safe or unsafe isn’t something we usually pay attention to.
And yet, as they say, the Body Keeps the Score. If our nervous system isn’t regulated, if we don’t feel safe in our bodies…
We can lash out at our families and partners, creating conflict in our relationships
We can self-sabotage in ways that take us away from our goals and dreams
We can retreat into avoidance, act impulsively, or engage in all-or-nothing thinking
And so much more.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say if the adults in the room (ahem, I’m talking to you, Congress) felt safe and regulated in their bodies, they’d likely be much more clearheaded about things like our shared values and dreams for our country, about collaboration and finding common ground, and about making choices that benefit, rather than harm, people’s lives.
So, that’s what we’re going to focus on today:
One small action you can take right now to bring an increment of safety back into your body.
Try This Out
When I first started hearing about ‘nervous system regulation’ I was all for it – except for one thing.
I didn’t understand HOW.
I’ve since learned that there are many things you can do to support your sense of internal safety and calm, and that nervous system regulation isn’t so much a goal but rather a practice.
To bring safety back into your body, you can:
Sit quietly, close your eyes and take a few deep inhales and exhales
Laugh with a friend or snuggle with a pet
Put your bare feet on the grass, go for a walk, or sit with the sun on your face
Curl up with your heating pad and take a nap
Pull out your art supplies and color in your notebook
Listen to music and shake your body for 3-5 minutes
Do a quick vagus nerve eye exercise (Keeping your head steady, move only your eyes to the right and hold them there until you feel an exhale, a yawn, or a release. Come back to center and breathe. Repeat on the other side, moving slowly and gently).
Today, pick one of these (or something else that feels soothing to you).
That’s it – that’s all you need to do today! Whether you have 5 minutes, 50 minutes, or more – I hope you’ll take a moment to bring safety and regulation back into your body today. We’ll all be better for it.
What To Do Next
Journaling is another way to help you process your feelings, practice listening to your inner wisdom, and bring safety back into your body.
If you’re looking for a journal to guide you, check out the entire collection of “100 Days of Designing My Life.” I’d be honored to share this supportive resource with you.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself and others.
Onward,
