Grief is Love Looking for a Home

I’m back from my week in California, and it was just as fun and restorative as I’d hoped.

Also, it was sad. 

There were more than a handful of times where I actually found myself crying – sometimes for an obvious reason; sometimes, not at all.

Grief, in fact, was a steady companion throughout my week away.

I found it sitting quietly in front of my beloved Grandpa’s old house (ten years after he passed). It was with me when I bit into my favorite sandwich and felt flooded with wistful memories of my youth. And it was present while I reminisced with long-time friends about our parents getting older.

A lot of this grief I expected. As I wrote last week, there is a universal reckoning we go through as we age. I knew that going into the trip; I was prepared for it.

But some of my grief wasn’t expected. This kind of grief caught me off guard and came in many forms: regret, comparison, missed chances, and more.

Grief is all around us – in our personal lives, and in our world. 

I grieve when I read the news. I grieve when I see someone in my community suffer. I grieve when I’m confronted with the reality that some parts of my life have turned out differently than I’d hoped.

But then I invariably remember one of my favorite quotes:

“Grief is Love looking for a home.”.

What does your grief tell you about what you love?

Try This Out 

This isn’t about just putting on a brave face, or about looking on the bright side.

I believe we grieve because there is something here – something to do with Love – that can’t be or hasn’t yet been expressed.

We grieve because something matters in our hearts. A universal truth or belief or value.

We grieve because we have hopes, wishes and dreams. For ourselves and for the collective.

We grieve because we love. 

And yes, grief is sad. But as a very wise coach once said to me,

“Tears are a sign we’re in an important neighborhood.”

What do your tears – your grief – say about what’s important to you? About what or who you love?

What To Do Next

I know I’m not alone in my grief. 

This week my only request is for you to notice where you’re grieving, and turn towards those tender spots. Don’t stuff away your grief or pretend it’s not here. Don’t avoid or apologize for your tears. 

Your feelings are valid. They are meaningful. They are, in fact, a message to you from your heart. This week, let’s practice listening.

Onward,

PS: If job loss is one of the things you’re grieving, check out my on-demand workshop, After the Layoff: Regroup, Reflect and Redesign Your Future. It’s the perfect space to process your grief and prepare for what’s next.