Your Values are Your Compass (WEEk 2)
When I first met my husband – almost 20 years ago! – I gained 15 pounds.
Some might say it was because I was in love (and I was 🥰).
But the real reason? It’s because I ate what he ate.
As our relationship blossomed, we ate out a lot – getting to know each other over bowls of pasta, sushi platters, and dim sum carts. It was how we experienced the world together, how we experienced each other.
What I didn’t realize was that every time we sat down at the table, I’d mirror him. He’d order a big steak dinner or a sampler of Mediterranean food, and so would I. He’d scrape his plate clean, and so would I.
I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Until my pants didn’t fit.
Our culture tells girls and women to demand equality, to believe that we can do anything that boys and men can.
It took me many years, and many meals, to realize that equality doesn’t mean uniformity.
Dan and I are two different people. Equal in many ways, but not the same.
Of course, the same is true for all of us:
Each of us has different likes, dislikes, preferences, and yes, even caloric needs.
Each of us finds meaning in different ways.
Each of us has different wishes, goals, and values. Especially values.
Whatever challenge, change, or decision you’re facing right now…
Whether you’re starting a new relationship,
picking out your next dinner order, or
designing your next career move,
…your values are YOUR unique compass to make the right choice for you.
Let’s explore them together today.
First, a few foundational thoughts about values:
A value is anything you need in your life to thrive. It’s that simple.
Values are words that evoke feelings and sensations within you. Your value of love, freedom, connection or creativity doesn’t just mean something – it FEELS like something, too.
When you honor your values, you feel in harmony and in flow with the world around you.
When you don’t honor your values, you feel stuck, stagnant or frustrated.
Your values can change over time (not everyone agrees with me on this, but I said what I said!).
Last week we kicked off our Life Design Sprint by naming a place where you feel stuck or challenged, and exploring a new perspective to support you.
This week we’re naming the values that can guide your planning and action in this area of your life.
To start, grab a piece of paper and make 2 columns. Label them:
Column A: “What it will look like”
Column B: “What it will feel like”
Let’s start with Column A. When you think about the place where you’re feeling stuck – what will it LOOK like once you’re UN-stuck? When you think about the decision you’re preparing for – what will it LOOK like once it’s decided?
For example, say you’re exploring a career pivot into a totally different field. When you think about what it will look like once you’ve made this pivot, your list in Column A might start with:
Working remotely
Time in the mornings for family
Lunch breaks
Fun team projects with smart colleagues
Then, move over to Column B. For each of the items in Column A, what will it FEEL like to you as you’re doing them? Put as many feeling words or phrases in Column B as are right to you.
For our career pivoter, Column B might start with:
Free and flexible
Balance
Slower pace
Collaboration
Now here’s the fun part: the words in Column B are your values!
Remember: values are what you need in your life to thrive. And after just a few moments of reflection, you now have a list of feelings, sensations and ways of Being that can act as your guiding signposts. Congrats!
As a final step, look over Column B, choose one value from the list, and consider: What can I do today to honor this value more fully?
Maybe it’s cancelling something on your calendar to bring more freedom and flexibility to your day. Maybe it’s taking time for a gentle walk outside to feel more balanced and slow your racing thoughts. Maybe it’s scheduling a coffee with the coworker you’ve been wanting to brainstorm with.
What will you do today?
💌 Share today’s activities with a friend and invite them to join our Life Design Sprint!
✴️ Work with me 1:1 to go from stuck to strategy – in just 3 hours.
💬 Deepen your values discovery with Volume 1 of my journal series, “100 Days of Designing My Life.”
Coming up next week: getting out of our heads, and getting into conversations with others – so we can learn more about ourselves and what’s next. I can’t wait!
Onward,
