You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
Hey there, friend. How are you?
I was in my therapist’s office the other day, talking about healing.
About how when my son was born, my expectation was that I would bounce back quickly – physically and emotionally.
And how, over 12 years later, I feel like I’m just starting to truly understand how I changed on that day back in 2013.
Back then I had this notion that my body would know how to heal itself, that my heart would know how to mother – just naturally. That all I had to do was get back to my life, and all the pieces would be put back together – quickly, almost automatically.
After all, isn’t childbirth the most natural experience of all? Isn’t mothering something I should naturally know how to do?
What I know now is that nothing about that experience felt, or was, “natural” to me. And healing, growing into my new self, has taken so much more time than I ever expected.
Oh, the weeks, months and years I spent lamenting how behind I felt!
Worrying about what was wrong with me, about all the ways I might be defective or deficient, because I hadn’t “gone back” to my pre-baby body.
Because I hadn’t yet figured out how to parent my child, go to work, and make it all look effortless.
I know now that I was trying to pretzel myself into the old version of myself – rather than embracing who I was becoming.
My therapist asked me, “If you could go back and give your younger self some advice, what would you tell her?”
“It all takes so much more time than you’ll expect it to,” I said.
You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
If you’re inspired today to explore your own Becoming, give this a try:
Choose one important memory from your life – it could be becoming a parent, but doesn’t have to be (eg: your college graduation, when you got married, the year you lost a loved one). Select a memory or moment that happened 5 or more years ago.
Search through your phone or photos app to find a photo that represents you at this point in your life. Take in that image, study it, and do your best to put yourself back in that moment. And when you’re ready, reflect:
What did you believe back then about yourself, your potential, and how you were supposed to Be? About what was Right or Wrong?
In what ways has your understanding of this moment and of yourself changed with the passage of time?
If you could give your former self a piece of advice, what would you tell them? What’s important about that?
Onward,
PS: A couple of updates from me –
I have 3 spots open for 1:1 coaching intensives. If you’re ready to get unstuck, I’d love to support you. → Sign up here
Just restocked my reflection journal sets! → Show now
Looking for a speaker or facilitator for your fall event? → Let’s Talk