when we build out in the open
How do you manage the moments when you doubt yourself?
The past few weeks have been so exciting as I’ve shared about what I’m building over at Life Design School.
Positive feedback, good wishes and congratulations, and even some sales!
And yet? There have also been a few “oh sh*t” moments…and they all have one common theme:
I stopped trusting myself.
Not for long, thankfully. But just enough to feel that stinky sludge of self-doubt seep into my stomach.
The first time was when a friend gave me very smart, very thoughtful feedback on my new website. On the surface, I heard her words and could intellectually say, “She’s totally right.”
But on the inside? All I felt was, “I screwed this up.”
Suddenly I could ONLY see the ways I’d messed up my launch, put my hard work at risk, and missed my opportunity for success.
(not true, of course, but when we doubt ourselves, it’s easy to fall into the trap of extreme thinking!)
The second time was when two people – TWO! – on the SAME DAY reached out to me to let me know my website was down.
Not just my site. The SALES page for my new workshop (about self-doubt, no less!).
And immediately – the shame spiral began anew.
“I must look so unprofessional.”
“I’ve totally messed up those sales.”
“I can’t get anything right!”
(I meant what I said about extreme thinking)
Here’s the deal: Designing an authentic and fulfilling career and life means “building” out in the open.
There will never be a time when something is fully baked, totally polished, and completely without errors.
You’ll submit “the perfect” resume and later realize it has typos.
You’ll prepare “the perfect” acceptance speech and completely forget it by the time you get on stage.
You’ll arrange “the perfect” Instagram photo of your outdoor lunch and a pigeon will poop on you.
(I speak from experience)
That doesn’t mean you stop taking action. It doesn’t mean you stop moving forward.
It just means you have to learn to stay on your own side – even during the tough parts.
Try this Out
Today, I invite you to think about what takes you out of self-trust:
What gets you “off your own side”?
What are the situations where you self-abandon?
What are the conversations or relationships that make you feel shaky – in your competence, your confidence, or your capabilities?
What would it look like for you to stay on your side instead?
What to Do Next
Given my own experience this week, it seems very relevant to remind you that I just launched my very first on-demand workshop for Life Design School:
From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: 4 Steps to Reconnect with Your Authentic Self
(The website works now, I promise!)
Self-trust may feel like a fluffy topic. But the more time I’ve spent with it, the more convinced I’ve become that self-trust is actually the key that unlocks all the good things you want for your career and life.
Applying for jobs? You have to trust yourself as you walk into your interview.
Starting your own business? You have to trust yourself to pitch yourself to clients.
Setting boundaries with your tween? You have to trust yourself – full stop!
(Again, I have a lot of experience on that front)
In my workshop, I’ll share with you my own journey of self-trust, starting when I got laid off. And I’ll teach you the four steps you have to practice regularly to find your self-trust rhythm.
Not so you can check self-trust off your list (because, btw, that’s not possible). But so you have real, reliable, sustainable tools in your toolkit for life’s ebbs and flows.
Onward,
